


Unfiltered

by spinachpufffs



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinachpufffs/pseuds/spinachpufffs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma finally gets it thanks to the interference of the Evil Queen. Season Six (hopeful) prediction...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfiltered

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I beat others to this idea...if not, enjoy nonetheless!

 

All was well.

 

Alright. That was a bit of a stretch.

 

All was not _that_ well. But still, it was far better than what it could have been.

 

After all the shit that went down after Gold tethered Storybrooke’s magic to the Olympian stone or whatever the hell it was actually dubbed, all those untold creatures (and again, whatever the hell they were called) appeared in town, things were going surprisingly pretty smoothly.

 

One would think that all hell (oh yes pun intended) would break loose but that was the complete opposite of what had occurred. No. The warden was not _that_ bad of a guy.

 

It was still unknown about what he wanted to accomplish in this town in a land without magic, but, that was hardly anyone’s concerns. All anyone noticed was Mr. Hyde becoming the new mayor and he was quite good at it.

 

The sheriff and the…(other?) sheriff constantly kept tabs on Hyde but it was a fruitless labor as the man barely deviated from mayoral duties.

 

But, again, that was hardly anyone’s concern. What they were concerned about now was something totally different.

 

About two weeks into this “new” Storybrooke….

 

Well, let’s just say an unexpected visitor came sweeping into town…

 

Yet, this visitor was not exactly coming so out of the blue.

 

And was the “visitor” even new per se?

 

No, _she_ was quite old in fact….it was _her_ town after all…. well, if you forget about apparently Gold and the Warden…

 

Moving on….

 

It was about two weeks since Gold had handed over the town to this Hyde fellow.

 

And as for the new residents, these refugees just flittered about their new town…. some causing more trouble than others but truthfully, they were like new movers, finally settling down into a town to stay.

 

There were no new villains running amuck…no new gods descending from the heavens (or ascending from hell for that matter) to attempt to control the town…

 

All was good…

 

Until the “new” addition came to town….

 

 _She_ came in just recently…

 

And no one, especially not a one Regina Mills, expected to see _her_ ever again.

 

It was a Tuesday…just an ordinary day when _it_ happened.

 

Emma Swan had just finished up quite the plethora of complaints from the new refugees. Some complained about this strange box that was flashing weird colors and images or others yelling about this weird porcelain throne that made bizarre noises when one was to pull down on the silver handle. The sheriff had decided she well deserved a hot cocoa at everyone’s favorite diner: Granny’s.

 

It was the hubbub of the town after all. If you wanted information, Granny’s Bed and Breakfast was the place to go.

 

And apparently that was what the newcomer had in mind; and don’t forget, she _has_ been to the town before…

 

“Hey, Granny! I’ll take a mug of my usual to go please. Oh…and all the donuts you got left. And maybe like two grilled cheeses. And some onion rings. With a side of fries.”

 

“Sure thing, Sheriff. And on the house, you put those greens away. You’ve been doing a mighty fine job of sheriff-ing and savior-ing that the least I can do is give you a free meal every here and there.”

 

“Well…” her stomach growled, “I guess I accept. Thank you.”

 

“It’ll be about ten minutes tops.” The old wolf stalked back to the kitchen placing Emma’s order.

 

As the blonde situated herself at the counter, checking her phone here and there, she barely even registered the cold aura that permeated throughout the diner as the doors swooshed open. 

 

And there _she_ was…in all her evil glory.

 

“Regina?”

 

* * *

 

 

“Regina!”

 

The ex-mayor and ex-queen slapped her newspaper down her desk as she heard Emma’s shout echoing throughout her mansion’s halls and not to mention the front door slamming against the wall, probably with the doorknob lodged into the dry-wall. Regina looked up to find the wide-eyed blonde staring her down.

 

Emma wore a bemused expression.

 

_What the hell does she want now?_

Regina’s thoughts weren’t necessarily critical like they were in the past but rather she was genuinely curious as to what put the Savior in her current state.

 

“Spit it out already, Emma,” said sheriff was hesitating despite having abruptly stampeded all the way to Regina’s home office; or, she was merely looking for a way to voice her thoughts. “I don’t have all afternoon, dear.”  


“Bullshit. You so got all day. ‘Snot like you have anything else to do…oh fuck…sorry; I didn’t mean it like _that_ , Regina,” she sheepishly scratched her head.

 

“It’s fine but say what’s really on your mind before I scorch your eyebrows off for your uninvited and unannounced visit.”

 

“Okay,” Emma sat down in the chair across from the brunette as her study mirrored the mayor’s office set-up.  Emma eyed the former Evil Queen from where she perched in a study-like fashion as Regina just arched a brow at the blonde’s bizarre observance. After a minute or so of the two just staring at another, Regina grew impatient and motioned with her hand for Emma to speak…again.

 

“Actually, you know what,” Emma rose as she started to head back the way she came, “I’m sure I’m just reading too much into this.”

 

“Miss Swan…” that made said Swan pause in the archway to look back at Regina, this time with her own brow raise. “I suggest you elaborate.”

 

“Okay fine.” She didn’t budge from her spot however. “But so you know like how the…umm…Evil Queen is in town…well, I sorta had a run in with her today at Granny’s−”

 

“Are you alright?” Regina cut her off, eyes wide, evidently concerned as she stood up to only be stopped by Emma’s risen hands.

 

Everyone had known Regina’s literal counterpart had come to Storybrooke a few weeks ago but the Queen actually wasn’t actively destroying the town, casting curses, or even so much as looking in anyone’s general direction. Much like Hyde, the Evil Queen only came and went as she pleased but didn’t do anything apart from “hurt” people with her general “sassholery.”

 

This isn’t a tale where villains get a plot after all…

 

“Yeah, yeah…just wanted to…let you know…bye!”

 

“Emma!”

 

But the Savior was long gone as she decided to poof rather than run. Well, alright poofing was running, if one truly thought about it…

 

* * *

 

 

Sheriff Swan was walking with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her red, leather jacket. Today was one hell of a day. _And that’s saying something…I have literally been to Hell._

She was wandering aimlessly, not exactly sure how to solve her problem. It was a magical one, sort of. Typically, when she needed help she’d go to Gold (but he had yet to return to town after giving it to Hyde), the Blue Fairy (but she’d rather not talk to a nun about this issue), or Regina (to whom the problem pertained to).

 

If only she’d actually retained all her Dark One knowledge…

 

OOMPH

 

Clearly not paying attention, the blonde smacked into another person on the sidewalk, falling on her ass.

 

“Watch it.”

 

“You watch it…oh, hey Lily.”

 

“Well, you still aren’t getting an apology,” the dragon-girl quipped, well she actually meant it so technically not a quip, as she offered her hand to the blonde, yanking her up.

 

“Still as bitchy as ever I see.”

 

“What’d’ya expect? I’d come to Storybrooke and suddenly brighten up?”

 

“Well, this place is pretty fucked up, and stranger things have happened…I mean have you seen the 3 Musketeers, yet? I wish I hadn’t…”

 

“Yeah, yeah. If it’s all the same to you, Em, I need to meet my mom in the pastures for more practice on dragon control.”

 

“Your mom…” Maleficent, a dragon but also a witch! Perfect, dilemma solved.  “Hey! Can I come with you?”

 

“I guess…if I accidentally fry your ass that’s on you.”

 

“Sure…accidentally…”

 

* * *

 

 

She couldn’t quite start her interrogation with the head dragon bitch just yet as Maleficent was already in dragon-form the minute Emma and Lily arrived in the open expanse of plains. Lily jumped right in, and their “training” or whatever began.

 

The human found a large boulder to sit upon as she watched mother and daughter take flight. The two lizards with wings barrel-rolled in the sky as Maleficent taught her daughter to glide better.

 

Next on their lesson plan was apparently flames as Lily aimed her dragon’s breath at Emma who thankfully managed to put up a protective shield at the last possible second.

 

Emma could have sworn the roar that emitted from Lily sounded a lot like a sarcastic, “oops.”

 

Soon enough, evening struck and the two dragons became human once again.

 

“Awesome, thanks, Mom.”

 

“Anytime, my love. And what does the Savior want?”

 

Quick and to the point…she knew she liked Maleficent and this would make her questioning go by much quicker. The older blonde surely wouldn’t waste her time with riddles or deal-making.

 

“Wanna talk here or somewhere more comfortable?”

 

POOF

 

Oh yes, Emma liked this Queen of Darkness.

 

The trio landed in a cozy living room of what was possibly Maleficent’s house. It was almost as regal as the mansion yet felt more like a dungeon. Either way, it suited a dragon.

 

Each woman plopped into a chair or chaise as Maleficent motioned for Emma to start.

 

“What can you tell me about the Evil Queen?”

 

“Do you mean what Regina did in the past or our current resident?”  


“The latter,” Emma said.

 

“She’s good fun. Not sure why she hasn’t tried to kill your mother and father or total the block the dwarves live on, but I can only guess she has some grander scheme in mind.”

 

“No, not that. Like, she _is_ Regina, right?” Here she was, the question she wanted answered.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, the serum Regina used was to rip apart the light and the dark in a person…”

 

“Thus creating two of the same individual but one leaning towards good and the other consumed by evil,” the other blonde finished for the struggling sheriff.

 

“Yeah. So there are two Reginas?”

 

“Yes. Obviously.”

 

“Apart from the whole light and dark, they are the same, in like, every which way?”

 

“Yes. Oh, I know what you’re getting at,” Maleficent grinned mischievously. “I heard about what happened at Granny’s earlier.”

 

“Wha−”

 

“It’s fine; I’m not your mother…I don’t tell secrets…if it really even is one. But to answer your questions, you can think of the Evil Queen not just as Regina’s literal embodiment of darkness but also the unfiltered version of herself.”

 

“Meaning what, Mom?” Lily chimed in just to beat Emma to the point.

 

“If you really think about darkness, not in the sense that darkness is actually evil, think of it as desire: everyone wants something, whether it be to rule the world or just wanting a piece of cake they know they shouldn’t. Darkness allows that person to get the thing she wants.  That’s why people who actually can get what they want are viewed as villainous as they typically don’t have any regard for anything else. The Evil Queen gets what she wants and has no qualms with how she goes about it.”

 

“So, you’re saying that Regina, just normal Regina, what she wants, is the same as the Evil Queen?”

 

“Of course. I’m sure the old bat still harbors murderous thoughts of watching your mother suffer, but will never act on it…or, in your predicament… _who_ she really… _wants_.”

 

Emma grinned now. This tidbit of information was exhilarating.

 

“Thanks, Maleficent. I just wanted to confirm my theory.” Emma stood up.

 

“Give Regina my regards, dear Savior, when you undoubtedly make your move.”

 

“Oh I will.”

 

POOF

 

* * *

 

 

_Earlier that day…_

_“Regina?”_

_Emma turned around due to the suffocating yet intoxicating aroma that now-filled Granny’s diner to the brim. In the doorway stood what looked like Madame Mayor; but, Regina stopped with her HBC look the second the curse broke. But,_ this _Regina looked exactly like the first time Emma had seen her when she returned Henry to Storybrooke all those years ago._

_Her hair was shorter…_

_“Miss Swan…”_

_Yep, definitely the mayor…_

_“When did you get your hair cut?”_

_“This morning. You like?”_

_The mayor crept closer to the blonde, still at the counter waiting for her feast with a cup of water in her hand. The brunette put her hand on Emma’s thigh. Emma arched a brow, not put off by Regina’s lack of personal space as that was nothing new._

_But, what did put off the Savior was a shock that spread up her thigh into her heart. It fucking hurt!_

_That’s when she realized it:_

_“You’re not Regina. Well, technically speaking…okay, it’s debatable. I’ll just call you Evi. Ha.”_

_“Evi? I wonder how it sounds coming from your lips when you’re writhing beneath−”_

_SPLURT_

_“Not exactly when I expected that discharge of fluid.”_

_“Alright, alright” Emma’s cheeks were burning. This may not be her Regina, but still…it was oh-so practically the same, “What do you want?”_

_“What do you think?”_

_Emma arched both brows at the implication of the Evil Queen’s meaning._

The fuck?

 

_“Order up!”_

_“Umm, good day, Your Majesty. Thanks Granny. Gotta go, bye!”_

* * *

 

 

“Regina!”

 

It was almost nine o’clock at night when the belligerent blonde came barreling through the front door again. Regina clicked her remote to pause her current program on the television, albeit a tad more aggressive than usual, having had her very peaceful day interrupted yet again.

 

“Emma…I swear, if you dented my wall again or so much as even scratched it I will−”

 

Yet, her angry rant was cut short but the look on Emma’s face as the blonde hovered over her from behind the couch.

 

Emma Swan was Cheshire-ing…if that was even a word…or maybe…Joker-ing? Either or, Emma’s face would soon become permanent if she continued with her ridiculous grin.

 

“What?”

 

“I fucking knew it. After all these years…suddenly, everything just makes sense! And you! Sneaky as always but I finally caught on!”

 

“Pray tell what you’re on about, Swan or get the hell out…”

 

“Nuh-uh. All this supposed anger, Regina, really? Are we in second grade?” Her smirk was getting much too large for her face as Emma rounded the couch to stand with her hands on her hips as she cockily glared down at the former Queen.

 

“Get to the point…” Regina all but growled at her former-enemy’s daughter’s roundabout way of having a conversation.

 

“Well,” the sheriff plopped herself down before she carried on, “the Evil Queen was flirting with me today….”

 

“WHAT!?”  


_And bingo-was-his-name-oh…or should I say Pongo?_

“I thought only your sister turned green…”

 

Regina started to fluster as a very prominent red was creeping up her neck to her cheeks. She started to fan out her long locks, refusing to lock eyes with Emma.

 

“I’m afraid I do not know to what you are referring, Miss Swan.”

 

 _Gotcha_ …Emma scooted closer, her left arm nonchalantly draping over the back of the couch. With her right hand, she started to twirl her own fingers through Regina’s hair.  

 

“Wanna tell me why?” She was just toying with the ex-mayor now.

 

“How the hell should I know what goes on in that witch’s mind?”

 

“Umm…because it’s your mind, too.”

 

“Not anymore.”

 

“Right,” Emma stood up abruptly, “Well Regina, that’s all for now. I’ve had a long day.”

 

“Right,” Regina rose, too, “I’ll see to it you don’t damage anymore of my house.”

 

Regina followed the blonde through her halls and then down the few steps to her front door (which had a slight discoloration but considering she just nearly dodged a bullet, she’d let it slide).

 

“By the way,” Emma spoke up again, standing in the now ajar door, “You are terrible liar, Regina.”

 

With that, the blonde took a step forward towards Regina. She cupped each of the brunette’s cheeks in her hands and let her lips nearly smother Regina’s unsuspecting ones. She gasped at the sudden contact but quickly melted in Emma’s embrace…

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, you just need a little extra push to get what you truly desire.

**Author's Note:**

> Not exactly how I planned it but I should have written it the second I watched the finale.


End file.
